ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
