I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
