No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
