these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
