good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
