Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize