Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
