If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
