And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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