I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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