I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
did you just send me my own nude
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
