And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
