What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
