M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
