if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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