What a fucking waste of an outfit
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
