I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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