We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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