I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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