No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
