No awkward lesbian experiences without me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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