How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
