I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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