She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
