I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
