R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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