dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
