Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
