do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We are two peas in an std pod
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
