ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
