Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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