yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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