I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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