And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You're like the curious george of whores
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
