i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
