i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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