she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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