Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
