The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
me + whiskey = a bad person
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
