actually, I'm a sock model
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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