Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
pray to the hookup gods
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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