I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
