My first STD was from a foam party
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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