I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
honey bunches of taint.
sarcasm needs its own font
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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