So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
