My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
