You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
