just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
