I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
