You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
